I had hoped that my middlings would return from the Thanksgiving break... more teachable. No such luck! Fights continue, had 3 youngsters removed from campus in bracelets, one teacher bruised and scratched up, I caught 2 youngsters pulling chairs out from underneath their lab partner... I suspect 2 others of the same but didn't see the deed so I can't write it up. So far no one has been badly hurt, but it is just a matter of time. We've also had a spate of false accusations, which once disproved are just dropped. I fear they will continue until the youngsters, and possibly their parents, are held accountable. Mid-quarter progress reports went out Friday and things are looking bleak... average grades are down across the board. Now if it were only a class or 2, or specific teachers you could blame the teacher, but this is systemic... the solution lies with more than just the classroom teachers... but no one listens to teachers.
My original plan had me returning home at the end of this year. Then I decided I would put it off until after I'd completed my national board certification, now I'm just not sure. Plus the economy is such that walking away from a good job is not necessarily wise. Who knows what will happen. One thing I am sure of is that I will not be driven out. I will stand and fight these misguided children. I just hope I don't stroke out first!
Then there is the issue of a personal life... who has time! I can't even manage to get to the gym or cook a meal. And with the way things are shaping up, fighting form would be an excellent idea... or at least the ability to sprint the length of the building! But then at 200 pounds if I fall on you, ya ain't goin' nowhere!
New Oz movie is starting and I've been waiting to see this. Enjoy dear friends.
I have returned more or less safe and sound. Flight was delayed out of Phoenix, but my friend waited patiently at the airport so I was not stranded. May the Powers that Be bless her. I find the environment of a commercial plane a difficult environment; anticipation, anxiety, anger, frustration represent a real challenge. This flight was very mellow... only 2/3 full and I didn't realize we had children (including 2 infants) and a dog until we collected our baggage. Sat all the way in the back, all by myself... unexpected level of comfort, such a blessing.
Time spent with family was also more mellow than hectic, also a blessing. The Valley of the Sun is changing rapidly. Construction continues, I saw far fewer "for sale" signs, and populations are still growing. However, I still heard strong concerns about the economy. The crackdown on immigrant labor is a major concern for agriculture. And out-sourcing is also taking work from the state. Snowbirds are still coming and buying, so we shall see. Like Florida, Arizona is looking to Canada and Europe for tourists... weak dollar does have its advantages. Wonder how it will effect future out-sourcing?
I have a partial shift selling soaps and lotions so I'd best renew my freshness dating. A bit of preplanning before I left has my clothes already set out.... thank goodness.
Thursday, November 22, 2007, 08:53 AM EST [General]
I have been using whatever signal with which my machine has been able to link, consequently I have lost several emails and a post because I lost the signal... I suppose I just wasn't supposed to make those thoughts public. The universe will always have its way and is not above using the internet to do so!
I arrived safely, more or less on time, and with my luggage intact. My daughter is tired and just not well. Physically she is recovering from some sort of a cold or virus and the migraine the meds induced. She stopped taking the meds and at least her head is no longer splitting. That's the good news. The bad news is that she has been so emotionally and spiritually beat up... I just want to cry. She has always been too much of a victim and the years of made her old. She quit her job, which is a good thing. She needs to build up her resources, but now she is hiding in the house. I fear she has an undiagnosed depression disorder of one kind or another, but each time I try to move her to deal with this... its the immovable object scenario. I will just love her and enjoy the opportunity to be with her. I suppose that is the best gift I can give her at this moment.
Granddaughters are amazing. They are three totally different women... if they weren't sisters they wouldn't even know each other! How Donna raised such different children is a wonder in itself. They have been her life and her strength and her reason for living. They are an amazing tribe and I am blessed to be included.
I am off to family and fun and planning tomorrows shopping. I would never do Black Friday if it weren't for them! I still feel a twinge of guilt about not working, but only a twinge. Last I heard boss's boy was still stable, but his condition was serious. He is in for a very long road but a full recovery is anticipated.
On this day of mixed feelings... gratitude for blessings and sorrow for those that have lost so much... be well dear friends... be happy and be well
Tuesday, November 20, 2007, 08:16 AM EST [General]
Good day to you all,
Sorry I haven't done such a great job of keeping up with everyone. Past few weeks have been a real challenge. Middlings have been in rare form. Level of damage and violence has reached new highs, very scary. I had a headache for 5 days at one point... finally broke when I went home and cried for about 45 minutes, literally cried myself to sleep. I was just internalizing way too much... sadly I can't fix everything. On the positive side I received an A on my semi-annual evaluation. I thought it was a weak performance, but hey under the circumstances I'm not going to complain.
We have this week off and I'm off to visit my oldest daughter and her girls (women actually). I'm very excited, haven't seen them since last years winter break. I'm taking tests to grade and lesson plans that need immediate attention... my home is just going to have to wait. Place looks like the aftermath of a poorly organized yard sale! And between the dust and the dirt, well it is obvious that housekeeping is not any kind of a priority! Trip does get me out of working Black Friday at the store though. I pulled 2 extra shifts this weekend, one only partially on the clock, to help out. Manager's life has turned scary. Her son's appendix ruptured last Thursday night. Medicos finally gave up on the meds and operated this weekend. He's still in the ICU, but is stable. Whole thing is further complicated because the family is in the midst of a nasty divorce and custody battle. we've all been praying for all sorts of healing. I feel guilty but I've already spent a small fortune on these tickets and my family is looking forward to seeing me... even if it's only for a few days.
Should have hot water for my shower now. Have a wonderful day.
I've been helping keep a fellow teacher afloat. Her dad had open heart surgery, that leaked. Then bowel blockage, more surgery. The bowel wound became infected, considering installing a zipper! But I digress, met her dad only once and had a visceral reaction. An incredible sense of brotherhood, loyalty and respect. As his health challenges piled on I became more agitated and focused on sending him strength and comfort... but I couldn't make sense of it. Where did this come from? Well now I think I know. I had a dream last night. I am a fly on the wall watching an officer plan a military campaign. He is a mid-level officer, captain or battalion leader; high enough to control some of the battle, but not so high that he doesn't know his men, their strengths, their aspirations, their families. He knows this battle will be costly and it is weighing on his heart and soul. Now I understand what I feel for him and why. In this life I have been a soldier, served in the first and middle Gulf campaigns. I was one of dad's (yes, I've taken to calling him dad) soldiers back then. I can't identify the time period. I have no idea what my position was, but I would follow him in the jaws of h.....
Reminds me that if I were not in this place at this time, both our lives would be different. I'm still homesick... yet I cannot deny the joy I feel at this discovery. The universe will have its way...
